“invited audience member” How cool is that?? I was really worried that I’d be expected to be coherent in some way. I am reading the book and participating in the book club but for me it’s an abstract experience. I am in the NOW because I don’t get proper sleep and I can’t organize myself to be anywhere else. Besides even the rules of grammer and spelling feel like an empending doom of some ugly authority. In some way this must be the flip side of some egotictical mind trip.
Another truth is that I don’t care about much if it won’t directly heal and end my son’s suffering. I can be in the now and see him as a soul with his own path to take and then with out the ego making up some fun roles to play it’s FREAKING BORING! I don’ t want to be a flower. Hey, this is just where I am at. How to animate my true essense with out it being a role my ego plays. IF this is just the school of life…..lets just say, I aint the teachers pet.
I don’t know if I can go. I have a ticket to the show, as a “Thank you from Oprah.” Nifty! I have a plane ticket, from my father. I have a fancy hotel room from my borther’s mass Hilton points. Lets see if I can get past the next two hurdles. The social security department changing my last name so my id is valid. Covering Zachary for the time I am gone. Unless I take him and his nanny along.
My sister is working for Disney the entire week and won’t be able to help me. The nanny already took Friday off. The ex step mother is on board for a few hours after work between the nanny getting out of school on Wed. night. Holy crap! ONe of the reasons I am going is because I have not had a break from Zach since having my gallbladder out twelve years ago.
Lets see what Karma brings. I am lucky, I am a winner, I am at the show. ( put on loop insert into subconscious) Wish me luck.